this BLOG is all about ME

#10

2012-01-28T19:30:00.000+08:00

every month i will get tummy ache. like this one.

i wish someone will rub my tummy

#9

2012-01-22T10:48:00.001+08:00

name saye hazwani rani.
muke saye bulat.
sekian terima kasih.

#8

2012-01-17T01:18:00.002+08:00

shit laa
rasenye macam suke encek F
but i CANNOT like encek F
no hazwani
u r not going to dig ur own grave

but y do i care so much when he merajuk
y do i have this urge to do things to please him
and i text him 1st sometimes wehhhhhhhhh

HELPPPPPPPPP!!!!

HAZWANI RANI, DONT U DARE TO HAVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST FEELING FOR ENCEK F

#7

2012-01-11T04:27:00.001+08:00

an apple a day keeps the doctor away :-)

#6

2012-01-09T01:08:00.001+08:00

seoul garden-ing with ana
(aku nmpk cam ibu mengandung!! blame the blouse for that.lol~)

#5

2012-01-08T10:17:00.001+08:00

geram laa weh

sbb malaun yg mnyebarkan fitnah skandal aku dgn encek E, dh skang org takot nak kluar makan, borak2 ngan aku

mangkok ayon btol

aku benci si mulut celupar!!

#4

2012-01-07T16:21:00.002+08:00

sumpah. senang gile buat aku happy. skang aku tersenyum. haha

tapi ade perkare yang mgeramkan telah berlaku
ade orang telah mfitnah aku n encek E
diorg cakap aku n encek E ade skandal
sengal kan
main suke suki die je nak cakap kitorang ade skandal

eh heloooo..aku mmg mlayan sume orang macam aku layan encek E itu ok
keluar makan dgn encek E pon x penah, nak cakap aku ade skandal
msg2 kat fon pon x penah
stakat jumpe tegur2 borak2 kat spital, tu skandal ke

geram
mulut xde insurans
zaman dah maju tapi mentaliti masih jauh ketinggalan belakang

ade aku kisah ko nak gosipkan aku??

aku x amek kisah sbb aku bakal meninggalkan department ni
tapi kesian r ngan encek E
encek E akan terus berada di situ
boss x suke gossip
takot nanti encek E kene tukar department lak
kesian encek E

sbb si mulut celupar xde insurans
skang aku dan encek E dan x boleh kawan baik dah

GERAM ok!!

#3

2012-01-06T02:26:00.003+08:00

of all things in the world, specialist aku suro aku decorate bilik mayat kat ED tuh.
pening wehhh fikir nak letak ape dalam bilik mayat
bilik ni digunakan utk letak dead body before dihantar turun ke mortuary

ape eh nak letak? aku cam fikir nak letak rack with a black vase on top and black flowers inside it
ade orang suggest letak skeleton
nak letak ayat2 quran tu tapi macam fikir gak r, x sume mayat tu islam

fikiran buntu.

skarang ni setiap hari ade orang cakap aku gemok. seriously skang sedang gemok!! berat badan dah lebih 50kg nih!!!!!

stress.

btw, i am in luv with this : blair's wedding gown, by vera wang

cun gile kan?????

tomorrow will be another happy day :-)

#2

2012-01-03T01:13:00.002+08:00

tadi g MAC OU, tanyelah pasal mineral make up tuh
orang MAC tu cakap "the mineral foundation has shiny effect, so it will show ur scar more. so i dont recommend it for u"

so aku pun x jadilah pakai mineral make up.. fuhh..selamat duit aku

bile nak gaji eh..? macam dah overspend lak dgn gaji nih.. sume new year punye pasa

new year most important resolution : start saving!!!!!
(ntah dah berapa banyak new year resolution aku nih)

:: i will determine my own happiness, and i will always be happy :-) ::

#1

2012-01-01T18:53:00.001+08:00

it's 2012!!

happy new year hazwani rani :-)

my new year present

235th

2011-12-31T19:31:00.001+08:00

dok sorg2 kt the curve..layan band yg sdg main jazz songs.sedih gile lagu diorg main. sayu hatiku mendengarnye.

tadi jumpe kem n caoi..kem dh 8 months pregnant. sibuk diorg tanye bile aku nak kawen.huhu.

ntahlah..xde jawapan.aku rase aku still fikir cam budak 18thn kalo pasal gf-bf and kawen nih.still cari juju tnye xpe x nk msg org tu..still tanye kak intan boleh x nk ajak org tu kkuar makan

hazwani rani..grow up.

234th

2011-12-31T03:41:00.001+08:00

233rd

2011-12-30T11:57:00.001+08:00

"tuhan aku tahu byk dosaku, hanya ingat kamu kala dukaku"

aku dgr lagu ni over and over again dah nak 10x pagi ni -- mode jewang karat. haha

i love makeups. sume orang tahu aku suke makeup. skang aku nak bertukar kepada mineral make up pul a.

tapi x tahu nak pakai brand yang mane satu. dari malam tadi dah dok google2..tp still x leh decide.\

the options :

1/ bare minerals -- byk review kate best nih

2/ mary kay -- murah sket tp review kate x berapa nak best

3/ MAC -- review ckp ok. but then, MAC bukanlah company yang memang menghasilkan mineral make up pada dasarnye. and the foundation comes in compact and fluid form, not powdery like how original mineral make up are

4/ Bobbi Brown -- mahal weh, kecik sikit je make upnye tp mahal. tp orang yg review sume ckp best. of course, nak cantik kene r sanggup

5/ Body Shop -- ni aku blom google lagi

"tuhan tolong lembutkan hati dia, untuk terimaku seadanya. kerna ku tak sanggup, kerna ku tak mampu, hidup tanpa dia disisiku"

232nd

2011-12-29T23:09:00.003+08:00

it has come to the end of year 2011
i did some crappy, shitty things this year
had my heart some-sort-broken twice (pathetically)

i have also done good things like..ermmmm...how come i dun remember the good things that i did??

i hope 2012 will be a much better year, i want to be a better person as a whole, i want to be a better muslim.

need to find a BF soon because wo keeps pestering me about it. she's driving me up the wall!!

in 2012, i am looking forward to kak nana's wedding, another cousin's wedding (xleh reveal lg sbb blom confirm), marlina's wedding in kelantan and my holiday trip after i finish housemanship

dear Allah, please make 2012 a better and happier year. amin.

231st

2011-12-27T10:15:00.001+08:00

230th

2011-12-26T19:23:00.001+08:00

hari ni x kerja. aku bawak erna and intan jalan2 kat area bukit bintang.

kitorg g pavillion. mak aih..ramai gile org!!

x faham aku ape ramai2 org buat kt shopping complex yg mahal itu.

pavillion is full of these patung2. each represents a country.

229th

2011-12-22T16:23:00.001+08:00

BTLS

I was in the same group with phvan n gini..it was fun..we laughed non stop :-D

after that, the three of us plus prasath, sneaked out for lunch.haha

228th

2011-12-21T12:42:00.004+08:00

happy :-)

on 19th dec 2011 :

1/ encek F yang hari tu marah aku, tanak ckp ngn aku for dunno what reason, dah cakap dgn aku semula. aku suke encek F sebab encek F laa orang pertama yang savekan aku makanan mase aku mule2 datang ED dulu. jasamu dikenang encek F. encek F ade anak yang sangattttttt comelllllll dan wangi.huhu

2/ pada hari itu juge, aku beli handphone baru :-)))) samsung galaxy S plus dengan harga rm1399. aku beli pakai duit bonus yang seciput tuh + lebihan duit gaji bulan lepas

senang betol nak menggembirakan hati aku :-)

227th

2011-12-17T09:56:00.002+08:00

it is a saturday, but i am planless today :-(

kecewa gile ni weh.. aku mintak cuti hari ni sbb plan nak keluar dgn kengkawan skolah lame dulu..

skali malam tadi last minute cancel lak.. sob3

sudahnye aku tatau nak wat ape rini

nak g beli tepon baru duit tadak lagi lak

nak g tgk movie xde geng lak

ade gak aku g kerja nih kang

kuang3~~

ini senarai movie2 yang aku nak tgk :

1/ new year's eve

2/ alvin and the chipmunks

3/ sherlock holmes -- will be out on 22nd dec 2011

jom laa sesape teman aku tgk movie...jom3

226th

2011-12-16T12:04:00.000+08:00

saye mahu fon ini

samsung galaxy S2 bermain di fikiran setiap hari

tapi x tahu sama ada ini keperluan atau nafsu (obviously jawapannye nafsu)

kalo beli rase membazir dan bersalah

kalo x beli, setiap hari teringat2 dan terfikir2

dah macam orang gile bayang lak aku nih

haih, susah,

kan best kalo ade duit turun dari langit :-P

225th

2011-12-14T00:49:00.000+08:00

life is too short to spend with weeping around and crying over spilled milk

i made many blunders, silly mistakes

i have committed unspeakable sins

i have fell way down, tormented to near death it felt,

but i will always, always bounce up again

i shall not be pathetic

i shall not weep over and over again

i shall stand tall and be proud of who i am

224th

2011-12-10T23:44:00.001+08:00

baru balik kerja. penat. bz gile resus hari ni. cases non stop.

laparrrrr...baru abeskan semangkuk maggi..burrrppppp

hurmmm

today

i asked God for happiness, he didnt give me any, but he didnt make me cry either
i also asked God to let me have a bliss, he didnt give me that either, but he didnt make me suffer

and still i am praying, within the next few minutes before this day is over, he will give me the happiness that i desire and i will sleep with a smile

223rd

2011-12-10T10:02:00.001+08:00

morning :-)

it's a saturday. best tido puas2, bgn lambat on a saturday

woke up with a startle, thought i was late for work. then i remember that i'm doing evening shift today
at RESUS. good, cause i like working at RESUS.

i feel so hungry, smalam x dinner
but i dun want to eat alone

for me, eating alone and going to movies alone are 2 things that will make me feel so sad like i have no one (which sometimes feels so true)
but i dun want my world to forever depends on people. so dun care, i'll eat when i feel like it later on

to be happy, it depends on me
to feel superb, it depends on me
to be awesome, it depends on me

i control how i feel
i control what i think

and so, i choose to be happy, superb and awesome

yeahhhhh you go girl!!!!!

pretty smiles :-)

222nd

2011-12-06T11:59:00.001+08:00

i love ME!!!!!

u see, if u dun love urself, who else would, rite..?
no matter how much u love someone else ie ur family, spouse, soulmate,
u have to love urself more
i was told once, that i shouldnt love someone a hundred percent as there will be no more left for me then

**listening to it will rain by bruno mars**

i made countless shitty mistakes
some i did over and over again

i dun give a damn much to what ppl says
but i do care what He thinks - He gave me so much, i have to at least be grateful and not upset Him so much

**there'll be no sunlight if i lose u baby, there'll be no clear skies if i lose u baby**

i vowed not to fall in love again
but wo keeps pestering me to get a bf and get married
can i marry someone without love..??
a big NO!!

my idea of love and marriage is when i would cross the sea or walk through fire to stay with that person
someone who makes my heart flutters every time i see his face or his text msg
someone i cant get enough of
someone whom when i wake up next to, i dun feel dreadful

**if u walk away, every day it will rain**

i dont believe in friendship forever
i dont believe in love at first sight

i think girlfriends can be your worst enemies
someone who makes u cry so bad and makes your heart aches

and boyfriends give headache and break your heart over and over again

221st

2011-11-30T10:39:00.001+08:00

there is no such thing as friends forever

even when they say they are friends, it doesnt me that they will not hurt u
or maybe my definition of a friend is too difficult
but funny how certain people can understand it right away

we've been friend for many years
of all people i thought she knows me better
but she disappoints me still

life goes on as if there is no ending

220th

2011-11-28T00:43:00.001+08:00

semua orang ade perangai sendiri
perangai yang dah sebati dalam diri yang x boleh diubah2
contohnye ialah mak saye yang suke panic dalam segala hal
ayah saye cakap, dah mak memang macam tu, nak buat macam mane

begitu jugelah saye
saye ade perangai2 yang cukup annoying and ridiculous (even to myself)
tp saye tak mampu mengubahnye

saye degil
keras kepala
malas peduli ape orang kate

saye suke x dengar cakap mak saye

saye possessive
saye x suke share2 sesuatu yang saye rase saye punye yang saye x boleh beli yang baru

saye x makan sorang2
saye x tengok wayang sorang2

kalau saye upset, saye x britau, saye x angkat call, saye x reply msg sampai saye sudah cool
(tapi saye cpt cool :-) )

saye ade impian
tapi impian saye sukar untuk jadi kenyataan

tapi buat masa ini, saye tetap akan teruskan usaha untuk menggapai bintang

2011-11-24T16:08:00.001+08:00

i always wanted a guy who loves me so much as much as i once loved someone (that time i thought it was love)
i found one

but sadly, i have to let him go

i dont want him to be tormented
i dont want him to be hurt once again

i am sorry

thank you awak for loving me that much

218th

2011-11-23T19:21:00.001+08:00

'dun hunt, i'll run further away'

that's the way it is. entah sampai bile akan macam ni.

stress laaa wooiiiiiiiii

your friends are acting weird, gave me that dislike look, muke x puas hati dengan aku.

whyyyyy???

i think u've been told and warned beforehand

i am not giving up my life or the way i am living

as much as i respect and appreciate, there is a limit to what i am willing to do

i am definitely not a good girl

i can be mean and cruel

'stop hunting, i'll come to you'

217th

2011-11-21T01:47:00.001+08:00

kenyang. lalalalalala.
bile perut kenyang suke hati. lalalalalalala.
tapi bile kenyang x boleh tidur.
jadi duduk bosan2 sambil fikir kesalahan2 pada hari ini.

owh crappppp..i did it again. i forgot to think twice.
F***. S***.

216th

2011-11-04T01:12:00.000+08:00

hazwani rani

jangan buat jahat

buat jahat akan dibalas jahat

215th

2011-10-27T18:19:00.000+08:00

LOVE

family

friends

money

make-ups

perfumes

handbags

shoes

jeans

speed

food

cuddling in comforters with the aircond turned on

FEAR

cats

dogs

snakes

ghost

death of family members

fallen sick

HOPE

buy a house

holiday with mom, dad, ati, ana, ira

sweet, nice, rich, handsome, decent boyfriend

new pair of jeans

iphone

45-47kg

214th

2011-02-16T23:54:00.003+08:00

soooo addicted to this song!

Not again
Oh, this ain't supposed to happen to me

Keep rockin' and keep knockin'
Whether you Louis Vuitton it up or Reebok'n
You see the hate that they servin' on a platter
So what we gonna have, dessert or disaster?

I never thought I'd be in love like this
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
Then you came in and knocked me on my face
Feels like I'm in a race but I've already won first place

I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did
You got me thinkin' 'bout our life, a house and kids, yeah
Every morning I look at you and smile
'Cause boy, you came around and you knocked me down
Knocked me down

Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down
Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down
Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down
Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down

I never thought I'd hear myself say
Y'all go ahead, I think I'm gonna kick it with my girl today
I used to be commander in chief of my pimp ship flyin' high
'Til I met this pretty little missile, shot me out the sky

Hate to know I'm crashin', don't know how it happened
But I know it feels so damn good
Said if I could go back and make it happen faster
Don't you know I would baby, if I could

Miss independent to the fullest
The load never too much, she helpin' me pull it
She shot the bullet that ended that life
I swear to you the pimp in me just died tonight, girl

Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down
Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down
Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down
Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down

Tell me now can you make it past your Caspers?
So we can finally fly off into NASA
You was always the cheerleader of my dreams
And seemed to only take the head of football teams

And I was the class clown that always kept you laughin'
We were never meant to be baby, we just happened
So please don't mess up the trick
Hey young world I'm the new Slick Rick

They say I move to quick but we can't let this moment pass us
Let the hour glass pass right into ashes
Let the wind blow the ash right before my glasses
So I wrote this love letter right before my classes

How could a goddess ask someone that's only average for advice
OMG you listen to that bitch? Whoa it's me, baby, this is tragic
'Cause we had it we was magic, I was flyin', now I'm crashin'
This is bad, real bad Michael Jackson
Now I'm mad, real mad Joe Jackson
You should leave your boyfriend now, I'ma ask 'em

Say you gotta take the good, the bad, happy and the sad
But when you bring a better future than I had in the past
'Cause I don't wanna make the same mistakes I did
I don't wanna fall back on my face again

I'll admit it, I was scared to answer love's call
And if it hits better make it worth the first when it comes around

Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down
Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down
Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down
Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down

Won't see it comin' when it happens but when it happens
You're gonna feel it let me tell you now
See when love comes it knocks you down
Won't see it comin' when it happens but when it happens
You're gonna feel it let me tell you now
See when love comes it knocks you down, yeah

213rd

2010-12-14T20:51:00.002+08:00

people whom i wish is only a few steps away

Junaina Azmi
Yuhanees Yusof
Syazni Nasrah
Marlina Yusuf
Iffah Majid
Hannah Rosly
Faridah Zakaria
Siti Hajar
Fairuz Alia
Siti Farah Shahida
Syairah Nadia
Farhana Yusof
Nurul Ashikin
Ashraf Sidik
Azhar Ashari
Abdul Wafy

Thank God Zatil Aqmar is Here

212th

2010-11-21T15:19:00.003+08:00

when the person u think is the closest to u

shuts u out of her life

left u wondering what u did wrong

when bestfriend becomes a stranger..

..i never thought u will forget me

i never forget u..

211th

2010-06-13T17:12:00.003+08:00

hari ini 13 jun 2010

esok 14 jun 2010

esok saye start kursus induksi di puteri resort (kot) melaka. saye akan bertolak esok pagi..planyye pukul 9 bersama dengan hakim n annisa.

esok, officially..CUTI DAH HABISSSSSSSSSS..UUUWAAAAAAAAAAAA~~

alaaa..camner ni. sinitron saye x abes2 lagi. camner nak tgk satria yang gantang bangatttt dalam 'cahaya' . camner nak tengok happy ending winda n dimas dalam 'benci bilang cinta'

camner nak tau ending becoming a billionaire tuh. camner nak tgk CSI lagi every monday n wednesday. camner nak tgk house every thursday lagi.

rase sedih bile fikir dah x dapat tgk tv dah =(

xpe hazwani..xpe...

nanti kerja dapat duit banyak. leh save duit utk shopping n travelling (=) ). leh kumpul duit beli kereta baru. boleh kumpul duit untuk kawen. wakakakkakaka~

semoga saye menjadi doktor muslimah yang bagos. amin~

210th

2010-06-08T13:16:00.002+08:00

i have been very2 busy.

asek pergi balik kl. ati sakit. been in n out of ward for a few times already. this time, she is admitted again, for HCAP. so here i am in KL to take care of her. that is pretty much what i have been doing since i came back from my penang n kelantan trip.

every time i feel like complaining, i remember what mr hamdan (or was it mr khairol) said "bile kite kene jage orang sakit, jangan sesekali merungut. kerana itu ialah peluang yang Allah berikan kepada kite untuk buat pahala"

i supposed my induction course will start next week. haven't get the letter coz i hv been in kl since last week. hopefully i get the one in puteri resort melaka. i googled and the resort looks awesome!

a week of induction and then i will start working. takottttttt!!!!! i will work in hospital sungai buloh. my first choice. good. the hospital is nice. got aircond i think. i am excited to start working, living in a new environment, meeting new people and earning my own money. the later is the best part of all. yeay!!! =)

209th

2010-05-30T13:30:00.002+08:00

sakit belakang. tapi tatau nak wat camner bagi x sakit. dah puas mengeliat pon x ok2 gak. dah dok atas kerusi urut pon x ok lagi.

nak diurut. tapi xde duit banyak nak gi massage. mahal doo..x faham kenapa

ade x orang yang leh urut badan dgn bayar rm10 je?

208th

2010-05-26T21:26:00.000+08:00

207th

2010-05-25T23:15:00.003+08:00

i saw you today

sure you didnt see me

you looked just the same, the way i remember you

your hair with the gel thingy u put on

that shirt you wore countless of times

the way you stood

the light in your eyes when you spoke

the way your hands moved

damn

i miss you

206th

2010-05-19T10:59:00.004+08:00

kawan saye, cik siti farah shahida suda bertunang hari tu

congratulations!!!

smoge cepat ke jinjang pelamin :)

saye pegi majlis bertunang fara and tahar, dekat rumah fara di manjung perak.

hari majlis tu, tuan rumah order nasi beriani. tapi diorang nak r ade nasi putih gak sebab takot de orang x makan nasi beriani. nasi putih tu plannye masak sendri laa..x order dr catering tu

pagi sebelum majlis tu, ayah fara "wani mane?? mintak die masak nasi putih"

OMG!!! saye x yakin utk masak nasi putih ok. masak periuk kecik kat rumah pn ala2 x jadi. ni nak suro masak seperiuk besar utk kenduri. mampos aku!! saye rela disuruh masak kari ke, ayam masak merah ke.. masak nasi ialah bende paling susah dalam dunia.

nasib baik pada waktu kejadian, saye xde di dapur. saye sedang nyibuk2 kt bilik fara yang beraircond menengok fara bersiap2. selamat aku. huhu~

kami2 ni bile pulak? hehe :P

205th

2010-04-28T11:14:00.011+08:00

i am home from my holiday trip to kelantan n penang

the trip was awesome!!!!! it was more like a makan-trip. hahaha. seriously, we ate a lot! i think i gained a few kg already. damn! haha~

we = geng crocs (haha!) = me lala hajar hannah kak farah azyan iffah

we took a train to kelantan, the one with bunks. i got to sleep at the bottom bunk. ticket was rm 53 for the lower bunk and rm 47 for the upper. guess they don't want everybody to berebut for the lower bunk

e were so bising, jakun gile on the train. keep on snapping photos everywhere. we had pillow talk until midnite. there was this one pakcik from kelantan whom i bet laughed at us the entire time. the only time we were quiet was when all of us slept. 7am next morning, we got noisy and jakun again. hahaha. the journey to tanah merah from kl sentral took 12 freaking hours! sakit bontot dah. huhu~

we stayed at marlina's house in kelantan. her sister-in-law took us all around kelantan, take that literally ok. dunno how we made it. we went to kota bahru, tumpat, kuala krai, pasir mas and dunno where else laaa. we toured kelantan in 2 days only!

we went to visit 2 temples. one with a gigantic buddha statue that was lying down, the other was a sitting one. we also went to a mosque that has chinese architecture that at first we thought it was a temple as well.

we also went to the pantai sri tujuh (i think) and lata hujan

from kelantan, we took a bus to penang. we stayed at iyas's place. his house was so nice. there was kolam ikan, a bridge on the outside. the interior was even better. felt like staying in a hotel. huhu~ iyas's mom made us mee udang and nasi lemak. she is a superb cook i tell you. sedap gile ok!

in penang, we ate most of the time. and visit another temple. hahaha. kuil kek lok si i think.

on the first morning, we dressed up all nice and pretty and wangi. the we took a walk to somewhere nearby for breakfast. then iyas said "korang pakai cantik2 ni kenapa?? kite nak g trekking jap lagi.."

crapppp!!!! we didnt expect THAT coming at all. hahaha~ thank god we all wear our crocs except for lala. borrowed track bottom from iyas. the trekking took about 1.5 hours. we trekked all the way to the monkey beach. iyas said that that was the nicest, prettiest beach. mandi laut at noon. we got terrible sunburn.

we played jet ski. that was my first time. it was fun.

we took a boat back to the starting point. dunno what to call that. thank god. we were all drained out to go through the hutan again. by the way, the hutan was actually a taman negara. taman negara pulau pinang

the rest of the days in penang were devoted to makan. iyas took us to eat mee sotong. however we didnt eat nasi kandar the whole time we were there. perut asyik penuh je. haha. we also visited komtar. and pasar chowrasta where we bought all the jeruk2.

oh i forgot to mention that acap and azhar came to join us while we were in penang.

204th

2010-04-24T17:09:00.004+08:00

tau tak nak cari hubby terbaik, sesempurna mungkin itu sangat susah..kalo boleh pilih2 amek kan senang..

inilah kisah saye..

guy no 1.
saye suke seorang lelaki ini. suke sangat. suke tonggang terbalik. tapi masalahnye die langsung x suke saye. die x contact saye pun skarang ini. ntah hidup ntah tidak die tu skarang. xpelah..nak wat camner orang dah tanak kite kan. so hati saye hancur untuk kali pertama

guy no 2.
ade sorang laki ni. saye rase die suke saye. agaknye r. tapi saye selalu berdoa yang saye ni perasan sorang2. sbb saye tanak mengecewakan die, tanak wat die terluka sebagaimana saye pernah dilukakan. jadi saye x berapa nak layan die. die sangat baik tau x..die dengar je kalo saye bebel2 marah2. die selalu saje ade bile saye memerlukan die. terima kasih ye :)

guy no 3.
sorang lelaki ini pula, kami berkenalan thru seorang kawan saye ini. lelaki ini ialah kawan kepada bf kawan saye itu. lelaki ini mmg ikhlas berkawan n nak bernikah dengan saye. die baik, sweet, caring, pandai amek hati, manje2 sket. saye yakin die gagah perkasa seperti yang saye suke. walaupun kulitnye cerah, sy suke lelaki berkulit gelap sbb sy rase lelaki gelap tu macho tapi sy x kisah akan warna kulitnye itu. paling terharu kerana die memang macam nak bernikah ngan saye. haih. tapinye..disebabkan keluarga saye terpaksa memutuskun hubungan dgn die. saye berasa sedih. saye 'putus cinta' untuk kesekian kalinye... :(
sorry ye awak..

bile saye dapat suami nnt, sy nak jage elok2 baik2 supaya saye x hilang seseorang yang sungguh sukar utk ditemui itu

203rd

2010-04-15T23:21:00.003+08:00

dear hubby-to-be

thank you for falling in love with me and make me love you back
and for proving that not everyone with penis are jerk

thank you for easing the pain
and make me feel loved

thank you for taking care of me so well
and be a comfy shoulder for me to cry on

thank you for sharing the rainbows and butterflies with me :)

thank you for the efforts to create special moments that i will remember for live

thank you also for putting up with my ridiculous habit and silly thoughts. i know they are dumb but i cant help it. huhu

thank you for accepting me as i am
and for treating my family so well

thank you for the surprise birthday party that you are going to throw for me later in september. hehe :-P (nanti plan dgn juju and lala k..)

thank you for being YOU!

love you much..muahhhhss~

love,
hazwani rani
15 april 2010

202nd

2010-04-14T11:30:00.002+08:00

Uncle Kracker - Smile download at emp3

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed, sing like bird

Dizzy in my head, spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed, sing like bird

Dizzy in my head, spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed, sing like bird

Dizzy in my head, spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold, buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh, you make me smile

201st

2010-04-13T12:03:00.003+08:00

Orianthi - Shut Up And Kiss Me download at emp3

lagu ni best!

i am home :)

banyak gile barang..rase nak pengsan. i have no idea that i own this much. huhu~

this is only half of the stuff.huh.

sebab mommy n daddy begitu rimas n pening melihat barang2 saye (saye pun pening jugak tapi wat2 cool), semalam jugak beli almari baru. siap beli 5-tiers drawer lagi tuh..punyelah banyak barang

cantik kan almari baru saye :)

ayah saye cakap ni almari murahan, x berkualiti
tapi saye insist nak yang ni jugak
haha~

happy holiday people :)

200th

2010-04-12T13:27:00.003+08:00

12 april 2010

today is my last day in ktdi

i am going home for a long holiday before i start housemanship which hopefully will be in or near KL

the tale ends today

although i am supposed to be relieved, i actually feel like crying

so many memories; all those heartbreaks and tears, laughter and joy

best friends, superficial friends, so-called friends, close friends, true friends; your presence made me learned many lessons in life. some of them, i learned the hard way

life is not always rainbows and butterflies

honestly i am terrified to face the world beyond the walls of hukm and ktdi

i get so annoyed when people keep questioning where's my boyfriend and when i am getting married. is that all people think about?? after you get your degree then you have to get a husband? they make it sound like i am at fault for not finding a boyfriend. they said it as if i can get a boyfriend by just wanting one. it will be easy if boyfriends can be plucked from a tree. i will have a lot by now. see..i get grumpy thinking about boyfriends, marriage and stuff. told you this issue annoys me so much

to wo and my dear aunties and uncles, my time will come. you will definitely see me in my wedding dress with a nice, charming man by my side. just wait a little longer k..huhu~

the other day, i argued with wo about this until wo gave up and she said - "hai entahlah..wo pening dengan awak ni" hahahahahahaha~

oh it's nearly 2 o'clock. have to go pray and freshen up. i have a 2 hours drive to reach home

bye2 bilik..bye2 ktdi..bye2 hukm..bye2 kuala lumpur (be back in kl next week though.haha)

199th

2010-04-08T09:30:00.006+08:00

semalam saye pergi beach :)

(ssshhhhh..i didnt tell mommy. lets hope she doesnt find out. hehehe)

kitorg terjun dalam laut tepat pukul 12 tgh hari!!!

gile. hahahah~

now i have sunburn

muka rase sakit. huuuu~

i love holidays :)

198th

2010-04-06T15:23:00.002+08:00

hari ini saye lunch di Paddington House of Pancakes

terima kasih cik haslinda mahmud kerana membelanja saye sempena saye lulus exam :)

konsep makanan di sini, semuanye ade pancakes. sy ingat pancakes tu mesti yang tebal2 rase tepung tu, tapi rupenye ade banyak gaye pancakes ye...

the one that came with our meal tu nipis cam kulit popia basah.

menu makanan kat cni semuanye gune name tempat. saye order Lisbon. linda order San Francisco. kerana terlalu lapar, kami terus menyambar makanan. lupe amek gamba. huhu~

Lisbon tu ialah pancake nipis yang dalam die stuffed with ayam, udang, mushroom and oyster. and ade gravy ape tah skali. sedap. tapi ayamnye ade rase2 hanyir sedikit.

San Francisco itu ialah grilled dory fish, pancake stuffed wiith mash potato n salad with tomato sauce. sedap sekali~

petang ni saye akan ke panggung wayang menonton how to train your dragon.

saye mahu menonton clash of the titans tapi tidak ade yang mahu menemani. ade sesape nak tgk dgn saye?

197th

2010-04-01T01:23:00.004+08:00

31 march 2010

Dr Hazwani Rani, MD (UKM) 2010

=)

alhamdulillah

thank you Allah for granting my prayers even when i was being so naughty and made you angry.
thank you for letting me give good news to my parents, sisters, wo, aunties and uncles.
thank you also for making me cried tears of joy while hugging lala and sikin.

thank you mommy and daddy for praying hard day and night for my success.
thank you for giving me much money also when i am broke. huhu.
thank you for always believing in me and not get angry when i was in a bad mood and sulk the whole time you were around.
thank you for panicking and stressed along with me.

i love you both so much there's no word perfect enough to show what i mean.
the last thing i want to do is to disappoint both of you and lost your faith in me.
i always want you to see me as your nice, kind, smart and brilliant eldest daughter.

thank you ati, ana and ira for keep praying for me.
to ati, thank you for the everyday good luck wish and the countless prayers you made.
i love you sisters.
for all of you, i always want to be the best.. so that you have an almost perfect sister to look up to.

thank you wo, aunties and uncles for the prayers and everything.

to my dear lecturers, especially prof norzi, miss dina, prof shahrir adn prof zul.. thank you. no word, no card and no gift can truly express how grateful i am to have teachers like you

thank you lala, hajar atil for studying with me.
to lala, thank you for taking care of me and made sure i didn't break when i was so fragile and vulnerable.

to my studygroup mates, thank all of you for making very useful notes that really helped so much

to the rest of the people in my world, you played a part that made it possible for me to be where i am today. thank you also.

to my colleagues who didn't make it, this is prof norzi words when i met her right after the dean announced our result today - you sepatutnye cemburu dengan orang yang x pass tu sbb diorg diuji oleh Allah dan dengan berusaha mengatasi ujian itu, diorang dapat pahala. u x dapat pahala tu. semakin diorang sabar, semakin diorang redha semaking besar pahala diorang. Allah x kan menguji hambanye unless hambanye itu memang mampu mengatasi ujian itu.

see..you are better and luckier than the rest of us. grieve for a while, then stand back on those two feet and prove to the world that you are better than the rest of us.

196th

2010-03-26T18:11:00.005+08:00

saye sudah habis exam!!!

HHHOOOOORRRRRRRAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

ALHAMDULILLAH

sukenye dalam hati, bile x payah bace buku lagi

lalalalalalalalalalalala

:)

long case :

cabut undi. dup dap dup dap jantungku. mulut kumat kamit doa tolonglah dapat o&g.

saye orang 2nd last cabut undi. cabut keluar dapat nombor B1. cat cakap "B ni o&g nih". saye memang de dgr orang cakap B tu o&g. tp malas r nak meletakkan harapan setinggi gunung..kot2 r hari ni dah tukar arrangement ke ape.

sampai kt depan bilik exam, pt xde. dr muhamad tanye PK mane pt n PK yg jage bilik tu. PK tu jawab "pt g toilet".

seminit kemudian, pt tu dtg dgn pegang urine. perot memboyot ke depan. ALHAMDULILLAH. kes o&g. rase nak sujud syukur je kt situ. lega. dr muhamad ckp "eh ni dah soalan bocor ni". saye sengih je kat ctu :D

habis clerking, nak present ni..tunggu r depan bilik examiner. nampak dr laila medicine yg ala2 garang tu. tersirap darahku. aiyo. tp rupenye bukan die..die examiner A. saye B.

tgh arrange2 skrip nk present ni, prof har datang bersama dr lila. skali lagi ALHAMDULILLAH.

kes placenta praevia. soalan mostly on abruptio placenta. prof bagi scenario. ade r merepek2, stare prof ngan mate bulat n mulut tertutup rapat, meneka2 jawapan..tapi rasenye ok lah kot. tapi prof xde pon cakap "you can go home now and rest dr hazwani" huuuu~~

short case :

1st station : "ko biru kan, meh sticker" saye angkat muke n nampak mr aizaidin tgh hulur tgh. ortho. loceng bunyi. melangkah masuk ke cubicle tu, nmpk pt ku sedang berbaring. alaaa..saye kenal pt ni. ade # neck of femur..ade short limb. dah penah examine dah encik ni rasenye. so buatlah hip examination. salah tanda trochanter sbb kaki encik tu cam ade bengkak2 yang mbuatkan saye ingat itu trochanter. mase mr aizaidin suro ukur smule..krinngggggg loceng berbunyi. babai mr aizaidin..luluskan saye ye :)

2nd station : tgh tunggu loceng start tu, nmpk prof norzi. prof pn nampak saye. tp kami x smpt bertentang mata. huhu~ tapi saye dengan dr ixora. examine pt yang ade fibroid. terima kasih prof norzi sbb ajar saye o&g sampai saye pandai. station o&g tu r yang saye paling konfiden sekali. dr ixora pn senang hati. "is there anything else u want to do?" saye tanye balik "is there anything that i missed dr?" "no. good. u can wait outside" :)

3rd station : PSY. soalan cakap - this patient has been having low mood and difficulty to sleep for the past 2 weeks. please clerk relevant hx for the dx and present to the examiner and answer a few questions. pusing je pandang pt tu, dgn ramah n senyuman lebarnya pt tu berkata "hai..assalamualaikum" saye pandang ngan konfius. ni nak cakap depression ke bipolar. tp bile clerk, ceritanye semua pasal depression je. tapi cerita dgn gembira. konfius aku. examiner ialah dr PSY hensem tu..ape tah namenye. x ingat r..sorry ye dr :)

4th station : medicine. i dun like medicine. dapat dr shikin. jam otakku ini. nasiblah abdomen examination. pakcik tu baik gile. ade spleen gedebuk besar kat LHC. examine ok tp lupe r nak check lymph nodes. present pun ok je rasenye. bab2 jawab soalan tu..ish. xleh nak fikir bile tgk muka dr shikin tu..cuak r. baru jap td mase nak mandi baru leh fikir jawapan kepada soalan simple gile yang ditanye oleh dr shikin tadi. cesssss..sudah terlambat ok hazwani nak ingat sekarang :(

kesimpulan sy ialah - long case itu memanglah nasib. dah xde cara lain selain berdoa Allah tolong bagi kes yang kite nak. short case pulak nak terer kene pegi wad hari2, prektis examine n clerk psy pt selalu2 supaya 10 minit exam tu, tangan tu gerak sendiri je buat ape examination yang patut. pastu xleh cuak or takut sbb nanti otak jam xleh fikir. remain calm.

bagilah sejuta ringgit pun, saye tanak amek professional exam ni sekali lagi.

i am a free man (oooppppss...i mean woman) now

:)

sekarang saye perlu bedoa dan bertawakal selepas habis berusaha~

195th

2010-03-24T14:35:00.004+08:00

oh no!!! LUSA saye dah nak exam!!!!!

TAKOTTTTTTT!!

hari ni saye stat ade palpitation, diarrhea, nausea, dry mouth.
smalam dah stat insomnia. pagi tadi ade early morning awakening.

pandang budak kecik teringat DA. dok fikir2 budak ni dah leh tunjuk2 so at least dah 15 months. budak tu lak dah de social smile. so at least dah 3 month (eh yeker 3 months? ke 6 months r?)

pandang lak kat pakcik2 tua yang minum teh tarik. teringat lak DM, HPT, cholestrol bagai.

pandang kat orang laki sibuk hisap rokok kat kedai makan, teringat COPD and lung ca. otak terus nak ingat kalo COPD moderate dah kene stat pakai inhaler. pakcik ni blue bloaters ke pink puffers ni.

nampak ibu2 mengandung. dalam hati berdoa -
tolonglah dapat kes O&G jumaat ni..preferably a simple straight forward GDM. aminnnnn~~

ya Allah, tolonglah hambamu ini. semoga dapat examiners yang baik, bermood baik n tanye soalan2 yang saye leh jawab dengan baik. pendek doa, siar sumenye baik r hari jumaat tu nanti
=)

sebab sume orang dekat2 dgn saye ni dah exam, tau x sape je yang teman saye study..

paksa die bace CPG acute gastroenteritis. hahaha~
thank u pinky teman saye study. muah2~

194th

2010-03-22T10:41:00.004+08:00

hari ini kawan2 baik saye exam.

fairuz alia, siti hajar, zatil aqmar.

kami belajar bersungguh2, berhempas pulas bersama.

korang.. GOOD LUCK!!!!! aku doakan korang siang malam pagi petang tau. so mesti korang boleh buat punye. petang kang korang jadi doctor dah!! bestnye!!!!!

dun worry much k. aku yakin korang mesti perform splendidly. kite kan dah belajar 5 tahun.

petang karang korang akan keluar exam hall dengan senyuman manis di bibir

:)

this is the most frightening, most important exam in our life. saye exam hari jumaat. tapi sekarang ni saye tengah palpitation memikirkan mereka2 yang sedang exam sekarang.

oh tuhan, tolong permudahkan kawan2 saye.

atil dah lepas long case sekarang ni..ni tgh kuarantin.

housmet saye, cik marlina yusuf pun exam hari ni. lin tu pandai n baik. saye yakin die mesti pass punye. sekarang die sedang kuarantin bersama2 ngan atil. x sabar nak tunggu lin balik nak tanye - camner exam? kes ape ko dapat? ko wat ok x? sape examiner? ape soalan diorang tanye? ape diorang cakap?

fuhhh~~ cuak seyyyyy tunggu hari jumaat!!! uwaaaaaaa!!

ok2. saye nak pergi mandi n belajar.

ps: semoa helmi cepat sembuh n dapat amek exam hari rabu ni. aminnnn~

193rd

2010-03-21T12:18:00.002+08:00

i bought this for mommy

do you think it's pretty?

i hope mommy likes it

:)

192nd

2010-03-20T20:52:00.003+08:00

ade banyak bende yang saye x faham

contoh 1 : kenapa exam saye hari jumaat bile sume kawan saye exam hari isnin? jawapan orang bagi - xpelah wani..mesti ade hikmah disebaliknye. pian lak cakap Allah itu lebih mengetahui ape yang terbaik untuk hamba2nye.

ye saye tahu..tapi tah kenapa saye rase x best jugak. x best sebab nanti xde orang nak tolong saye study dah. mesti semua orang dah pergi berjalan2 berfoye2 or balik rumah. maka tinggallah saye terkontang kanting sendrian. saye juge rase x best sbb saye risau dapat kes pelik2 n luar biasa yg sy x familiar with. saye rase x best juge sbb nanti saye x sempat dah nak prepare untuk dinner hari sabtu tu

:(

contoh 2 : kenapa jari jemari saye bergerak sendiri menekan papan kekunci di telefon sedangkan otak n hati saye tidak bermaksud pun untuk berbuat begitu. saye memang x faham akan misteri ini. apekah?!!

contoh 3 : kenapa di kala saye rase nak pergi keluar melihat belon panas and makan nasi lemak kat village park xde orang pun yang sudi or available untuk teman saye. semua orang pn nak bz sekarang ni. nanti d kala saye bz, baru orang nak ajak pegi sana sini..pada waktu itu saye xleh pegi sbb saye bz. heeeee~

contoh 4 : kenapa saye malas nak bace buku bile saye tahu exam lom abes lagi. kan exam hari jumaat hazwani. bacelah buku woiiii!!!!! tapi saye rase saye memberontak dgn exam yg pd hari jumaat itu maka saye tanak bace buku hari ini. ye2 saye tahu..ini tindakan bodoh yang merugikan diri sendiri. tapi saye geram jugak.

contoh 5 : kenapa lelaki suke je nak marah2 tentang perkara2 kecil.. contohnye seperti bile makanan lambat sket sampai or bile bertemu pemandu x berhemah di jalanan. tahukan kalian bahawa sikap itu membuatkan saye akan terkedu ketakutan. saye tidak suke mendengar n melihat lelaki mjerit2 marah dan mencarut2. terasa seperti saye yang sedang kena marah di situ. rase malu pun ade juge. wahai lelaki2 yang kacak sekalian, anda haruslah bersikap cool and gentleman barulah sepadan dengan wajah kacak anda itu :)

contoh 6 : kenapa orang suke x rply message and angkat call. ini memang perkara yang saye memang x boleh faham walaupun saye mencuba berkali2 utk faham. ini lebih sukar difahami berbanding penyakit SLE yang sebegitu complex itu. membuatkan saye rase begitu insignificant sekali. tapi saye sudah terbiase diperlakukan begini, jadinye saye sudah tidak akan throw a tantrum lagi. i am a big girl now. big girls don't cry..lalalalalalala~~

contoh 7 : kenapa cousin saye still nak jadi doctor bile saye dah sejuta kali cakap yang belajar jadi doctor ni sungguhlah tidak menyeronokkan same sekali dan mengstresskan kehidupan. and x kan kaye pun. kerja lak banyak, kene on call, susah nak cuti, terdedah kepada pencemaran biologi dan pelbagai penyakit berjangkit yang lain. manusia memang sukar difahami.

ok. stop sampai no 7 sebab saye suke no 7

peace no war :P

191st

2010-03-11T19:35:00.004+08:00

come..i'll show you something. get ready..breath in...

N O W E N T E R I N G . . . . .

now you are inside my territory.
this has been my hide out for the last 4 weeks. i share this with lala, hajar and atil.

we are so fond of our hide out that we made effort to cheer it up a little bit

look how we decorate our walls..

and this is our favourite spot..

you see, the reason we are hiding here is to plan a tip-top strategy for our biggest battle ever which will start next monday. 3 days to go!!!!! yikes!!!!

WE CAN DO IT!!!! right girls...?

lala, hajar, atil .. GOOD LUCK!!!! kite dah study hempas pulas sebulan ni. kite mesti boleh buat punye..tengoklah nanti. on 31st march, we'll be DR HAZWANI, DR FAIRUZ ALIA, DR SITI HAJAR and DR ZATIL AQMAR :)

thanx korang sbb study ngan aku and wat pape extra task lain utk aku. u know what u did kan..love u ppl soooo much!! :)

and sorry for every wrong-doing k..kalau ade hutang pape, mintak tau. kalau x halalkan je..hehe

muahhhhssss~~

190th

2010-03-03T14:45:00.005+08:00

Tripping out
Spinning around
I'm underground, I fell down
yeah, I fell down
I'm freaking out
Where am I now?
Upside down
And I can't stop it now
You can't stop me now

I, I'll get by
I, I'll survive
When the world's crashing down
When I fall and hit the ground
I will turn myself around
Don't you try to stop it
I, I won't cry

I found myself in Wonderland
Get back on my feet again
Is this real?
Is it pretend?
I'll take a stand until the end

I, I'll get by
I, I'll survive
When the world's crashing down
When I fall and hit the ground
I will turn myself around
Don't you try to stop it
I, I won't cry

I, I'll get by
I, I'll survive
When the world's crashing down
When I fall and hit the ground
I will turn myself around
Don't you try to stop it
I, and I won't cry

Allah will make everything ok :)

189th

2010-02-20T09:15:00.004+08:00

this is a reinforced ETT (got spring inside to prevent kinking and obstruction)

this is a preformed ETT - use in head and neck surgery

this is a double lumen ETT - use in thoracic surgery

these are different types of LMA

188th

2010-02-19T17:20:00.003+08:00

saye di rumah.

saye dapat makan goreng pisang tanpa perlu bersusah payah mencari penjual goreng pisang.

saye dapat minum nescafe yang bukan 3 in 1, yang dibuat dgn penuh kasih sayang oleh emak.

saye dapat online tanpa perlu login2 yang mjengkelkan itu.

saye dapat tgk tv yang gambarnye jelas sekali. huhu~

saye dah x jumpa mane saye campak beg buku saye tadi. oooppppssss~

skarang saye suke lagu ni :)

186th

2010-02-18T01:46:00.002+08:00

pada suatu malam ketika bulan study leave, keluarlah 4 orang anak gadis menuju ke jusco

"hoi pompuan. cepatlah. dah lambat ni"
"yelah2 aku datang r ni. tunggu hajar. die g amek buku"

hasni drive laju2 ke jusco

"wani ko g cari party pack, aku g amek kek"
"ai ai kapten!"

sampai di jusco, berlari2 lah mencari ape yang patut.

fuhh..mengah beb.

then hasni drive laju2 pegi mcd kat tepi giant tu

"eh sini kan u-turn tu?"

saye mengangkat muka dari celahan belon "alamak! dah silap ni. xpe2..kat depan kang ko u-turn"

sampai ke mcd connought. membeli ape yang rase nak makan..ye r..orang belanja. bedal je r. gemok x gemok tu belakang kira. hahaha~

sibuk bergambar2. "manelah si birthday girl n boyfren ni x sampai2"

adelah dalam 20 mnt kemudian, birthday girl and boyfren pn sampai. birthday girl dgn mata yang tertutup diikat dgn tie baru yang dibeli oleh boyfren

"happy birthday to u..happy birthday to u..happy birthday to azy..happy birthday to u~~~"

si birthday girl tiup lilin, still dgn mata tertutup.

"surprise!!!!!" mata pun dibuka

"eh ramai nye orang" si birthday girl berkata sambil melihat sekeliling

kehadiran pada waktu itu : azy n boyfren (ofkos!). hasni and boyfren. hannah n boyfren. wani alone. lala alone. hajar alone.

azy berkata "eyyy kenapa semua dgn boyfren ni..."

SNAPPPPPP!!! dush3!!!!

tersentap n terbulatlah mata saye,lala n hajar d ctu.

"azy!!!!!! sampai hati u!!! kecik hati tau...." kami ber3 menjerit2 memukul2 azy dgn pukulan manja.

setelah disnapkan dgn fakta yang sudah terang lagi bersuluh, kami pun makan2 sambil bergambar2 dan membuat bising di tempat kejadian.

pastu mambe datang ngan pija. pian dgn jannah. oh silap..pian dan jannah.

makan kek choc indulgence secret recipe yang dibeli oleh cakoi boyfren azy dan diamek oleh lala dan kami2.

makan makanan mcd yang berlemak dan berminyak dan berkalori tinggi (adoihhhhh)

melihat sume orang riang ria bersame boyfren masing2. saye pn amek fon n msg lala.
lala tunjuk msg kat hajar. hajar pn mengiyakan.

selepas itu beratur beli makanan utk dibawa pulang. then kami yang single ini pulang lah dahulu naik kereta hasni. hasni dihantar pulang oleh abang sedara.

oh terlupa pula, hari ni birthday abang sedara juga. cop..i mean semalam birthday abang sedara juga

happy birthday abang sedara~

185th

2010-02-08T18:16:00.002+08:00

pada mase ini, saye sedang senyum lebar sampai ke telinga :))))

baru balik, tadi teaching dgn PROF MADYA DR NORZILAWATI MOHD NAIM

saye sangat suke prof norzi! kitorg 1 group sume suke prof norzi~

hari ni prof excessively good mood. so teaching went on superbly.

of course laa x boleh nak elak dibebel2 kan..tapi bebelan itu kedengaran seperti muzik di telingaku. lalalalalalala~~

abes teaching dekat wad hijau, kitorg pergi turun amek beg kat 1st floor. nak turun ground floor tu terserempak dgn prof kat dalam lif

senario : pintu lif terbuka dan kelihatan prof bersendirian di dalam lif itu

prof : haa masuk2 (sambil menengok jam)
eh dah nak balik dah? aren't you supposed to be in the ward?

saye, irma dan jane berpandangan sesame sendiri, diam x terkata.

it was 5.45 pm!!! of course kitorg x terfikir untuk berada di wad pada waktu itu. hahaha :P

plus esok osce. kene balik study. haha~

thank You for making today so wonderful :)

184th

2010-01-31T22:49:00.002+08:00

i am me

just a plain girl
with nothing special
far from perfect

i'm not pretty
nor am i that brainy
and i'm not rich either

but i have a heart
unfortunately it's no longer whole

i made mistakes
i stumbled and i fell
i look around
for someone to help me back on my feet
but i see nobody

i reached for your hand
but you keep it inside your pocket
i understood and i tried to turn away
but millions of times
i glanced back your way

i tried to stand by myself
limping, but i keep on walking
for i am still silently praying
at the end of the journey
i'll get to hold somebody's hand

183rd

2010-01-30T22:30:00.001+08:00

You sheltered me from harm
Kept me warm, Kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, Set me free
The finest years I ever knew,
We're all the years I had with you

And I will give everything I own,
I'll give my life, my heart, my home
I will give everything I own
Just to have you back again.

You taught me how to love,
What its all, all above
You never said too much
But still you showed the way
In my new, I'm watching you
Nobody else will ever know
The part of me that can't let go

I will give anything I own
I'll give up my life, my heart, my home
I will give everything I own
Just to have you back again

Is there someone you know
You're loving them so
But taking them all for-granted
You may lose them one day
Someone takes them away
And they don't hear the words you long to say

I would give anything I own,
I'll give up my life, my heart, my home,
I will give everthing I own
Just to have you back again
Just to touch you once again

182nd

2010-01-30T22:29:00.001+08:00

I'll never be
A knight in armor
With a sword in hand,
Or a Kamikaze fighter;
Don't count on me
To storm the barricades
And take a stand,
Or hold my ground;
You'll never see
Any scars or wounds-

I don't walk on coals,
I won't walk on water:
I am no prince,
I am no saint,
I am not anyone's wildest dream,
But I can stand behind
And be someone to fall back on.

Some comedy -
You're bruised and beaten down
And I'm the one
Who's looking for a favor.
Still, honestly,
You don't believe me
But the things I have
Are the things you need.
You look at me
Like I don't make sense,
Like a waste of time,
Like it serves no purpose -

I am no prince,
I am no saint,
And if that's what you believe you need,
You're wrong - you don't need much,
You need someone to fall back on...

And I'll be that:
I'll take your side.
If I'm the only one,
I'm used to that.
I've been alone,
I'd rather be
The half of us,
The least of you,
The best of me.

And I will be
Your prince,
I'll be your saint,
I will go crashing through fences
In your name. I will, I swear -
I'll be someone to fall back on!
I'll be the one who waits,
And for as long as you'll let me,
I will be the one you need.
I'll be someone to fall back on:
Your prince,
Your saint,
The one you believe you need
I'll be - I'll be
Someone to fall back on.

181st

2010-01-26T18:16:00.002+08:00

saye suke prof norzi. lalalalalala~~

walaupun asek kene marah, kene bebel, kene jerit..saye suke jugak

sbb die macam hebat n cool

"tell me if her weight increase is appropriate or not"

"i think it is excessive"

"in your dreams!!"

ade r 2,3 mdapat respon tu dr prof rini

klakar

ade bende2 yang die tanye tu mmg saye x tahu pn

tapi dah sume orang tanak jawab, saye jwb je r

in your dreams pn in your dreams laaaa

huhu~

180th

2010-01-24T14:32:00.003+08:00

nadem's happy day

awak congratssssssss!!!! :D

nadem dah jumpa lelaki yang boleh diharap untuk jage die sampai ke hari tua.

kem pun sudah.

farah, adah, hafzan, dayah juga.

nadez KIV.

tinggallah saye, lala, iffah dan marlina.

phone conversation dgn mommy before pegi majlis nadem :

saye : ani nak pergi majlis tunang kawan ani ni

mommy : asyik pergi majlis orang je, awak bile lagi?

saye : mak carikanlah orang yang nak bertunang dengan ani

mommy : awak ni..dah nak exam dah, boyfren pun xde lagi

SNAP!!!!!! dush2~

179th

2010-01-23T13:21:00.002+08:00

almari saye penuh dgn tshirts, blouses, jeans, pants, shorts, spaghetti, leggings, babies. sume pun ade

bilik saye penuh dengan bags and shoes. macam2 warna dan gaya

atas meja saye penuh dgn medical books, notes and cleos

atas rak kayu sebelah katil saye penuh dengan perfumes and make ups and accessories

dalam toiletries saye ade 5 jenis shower foams, 3 jenis shampoos and conditioners, scrubs, loofahs, nets

saye ade family yang memang sayang saye

saye ade mak yang akan bagi duit

saye ade ayah yang akan belikan semua yang saye nak

saye ade ramai kawan

saye ade Allah yang sentiasa jaga saye

i might not get everything that i want, but i have everything that i need

and because of that, i shall grin widely :)

alhamdulillah~

178th

2010-01-15T20:44:00.003+08:00

screw tomorrow's exam for making me in such a bad mood tonight

if not for the exam, i will be able to send syazwani to airport. she's leaving for UK tomorrow.

if not because of the exam, i'm already in shah alam, spending the last night with her before she leaves.

if not because of the exam, i'm out watching movie tonight

because of the exam, i'm in an awful mood

when i am in an awful mood, i say mean things to people

and i mess up someone's peaceful day

and i create an ugly scene

and make myself look stupid

damn!!

i hate exams

i don't like myself today because of yesterday

@##@##@#@#

177th

2010-01-10T11:53:00.000+08:00

hari ini saye akan ke teluk intan

babai KL

gonna miss you~

176th

2010-01-08T00:48:00.001+08:00

inilah beg baru saye :)

saye beli kat SACC hari ahad yang lepas. ade sale ok..so mendapat harga berpatutan. huhu~

175th

2010-01-07T01:16:00.003+08:00

never knew i needed - neyo

For the way you changed my plans
For being the perfect distraction
For the way you took the idea that I have
Of everything that I wanted to have
And made me see there was something missing (oh yeah)

For the ending of my first begin
(Ooh yeah yeah)(ooh yeah yeah)
And for the rare and unexpected friend
(Ooh yeah yeah)(ooh yeah yeah)
For the way you're something that I never choose
But at the same time something I don't wanna lose
And never wanna be without ever again (oh oh)

You're the best thing I Never Knew I Needed
So when you were here I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So now it's so clear I need you here always

My accidental happily (ever after oh oh oh)
The way you slime and how you comfort me (with your laughter)
I must admit you were not a part of my book
But now if you open it up and take a look
You're the beginning and the end of every chapter (oh oh)

You're the best thing I never knew I needed (oh)
So when you were here I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed (that I needed)
So now it's so clear I need you here always

Who'd knew that I'd be here (who'd knew that I'd be here oh oh)
So unexpectedly (so unexpectedly oh oh)
Undeniably happy (hey)
Said with you right here, right here next to me (oh)
Girl you're the...

You're the best thing I never knew I needed (said I needed oh oh)
So when you were here I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed (needed oh)
So now it's so clear I need you here always
Baby baby
Now it's so clear I need you here always

174th

2010-01-06T19:44:00.003+08:00

rase x best.

setiap hari pun bzkan diri sampai penat nak mati.

supaya sgt pnt terus tido jd x sempat fikir, x sempat nak rase pape.

diam saje.

shopping sampai habis duit.

jalan sane sini sampai minyak kereta habis.

tanak makan. malas nak fikir nak makan ape.

rase nak borak ngan orang tapi sume orang pn bz n stress juge.

juju dah kerja. so die bz.

yuyu bz dgn hidupnye yang penuh pancaroba.

syazni macam kejap ade kejap xde.

lala kat teluk intan dan hidup dgn gembira so malas kaco die.

fara bz ngan tahar n bebenda lain.

kem ade caoi n dah jarang jumpe.

hajar ade problem sendri xleh sesakkan die.

fana macam dah jauh.

housmet bz dgn rencana idop sendri.

jadi tinggallah saye sorang mengharungi idop sehari2.

rase x best.

ps : i think i hurt u. i'm sorry.

oh saye terlupe.. "hello pms~ u're here again"

173rd

2010-01-01T10:09:00.011+08:00

1st january 2010

welcome 2010

2009 had been a long year (when looking at it from 1 point of view), torturous (when looking at it from another point of view), flied by like a breeze (when looking at from a medical student point of view.. yeah. my professional exam is in 74 days!!!!!! freaky!)

lots of wonderful things happened through out 2009.

1. i went to singapore

2. i went to bandung. loveeeee shopping there!! :)

3. i finally went to cameron highlands after being a malaysian for 23 years. credit goes to iffah for inviting me to her aunty's.

4. i went to JB with juju to meet yuyu and we had great time together. we took a bus there, our bus was so canggih, we were like so-jakun there. haha.

5. reunion with dirah, nadia idris and linda. yes all 4 of us after almost 10 years not meeting up

6. kem got engaged to caoi. their hantaran was like 20++ berbalas 20++. i never seen hantaran than MANY!

7. went to JB again for wagy's wedding and met stfians that i haven't seen for ages

8. almost forgot, my batch annual dinner where i wore a kimono. that dinner was fun, one of the best i ever attended. the pre-dinner picking, renting costumes and make up practice was the best, even better than going to the dinner itself.

9. i did my elective posting in dyslexic center. oh how i miss those so-cute kiddies!!!

10. went to various tourist spots in KL when amanda came to visit. if she hadn't come, i would never set my foot at tugu negara, muzium negara and all other -negara. i am soooo 'malaysian'. haha

11. trip around perak; hot spring and bukit merah

this year, in 74 days i'll be sitting for my professional exam. i want to pass that exam, graduate and be a good doctor. i'm going to start a whole new life once i get DR. in front of my name. DR HAZWANI RANI.

may 2010 be a good, wonderful, exhilarating year for all of us.

goodbye 2009

172nd

2009-12-29T00:41:00.008+08:00

birthday naim

smalam birthday naim. 28 december. naim dah umur 25. die dah besar.

kitorg g celebrate ramai2 kat oldtown kerinchi. saye suke tmpt tuh. cantik. spacious. tenang (tp td de bunyi2 bsg sbb de construction on going)

dari malam smalam berfikir pasal celebration ni. bermula dgn phone call dr roy, tanye nak buat kat mane.

1st thot - TGI! sbb rs nk makan TGI. tp x sesuai lak rasenye. so fikir punye fikir, b4 tido baru teringat oldtown kerinchi@bangsar village. dulu dah penah celebrate bday bapak kat cni.

hari ni, buat reservation kat tepi pool. duduk atas kusyen. best!! cantik sgt. cam cool je. haha~

kitorg konon nak wat surprise. nyorok blakang kerusi. mase roy, shah, rafi, akim, wono nyanyi, kitorg nyanyi skali. tp..boleh si naim tu x prasan pn suara kitorg. cett. sakit lutut ngan pinggang tau ternyorok2 tu. huhu~

makan kek alexis. ape tah namenye.

sume org, ms 1st tgk kek tu tanye - apsal kek ni pecah2? memang macam pecah.. cam sumthing yg dah meletup dr dalam. rasenye sgt2 manis. saye x suke sbb manis sgt. fruits atas kek tu yg best

after makan2 n bergambar dgn banyaknye, kami pun bertolak pulang. kerana perlu study laa kononnye. huhu~

ini kemungkinannye ialah kali terakhir celebrate birthday naim. after march next year, mungkin kami x akan berjumpa lagi :(

semoga naim sentiasa gembira. dan bertambah bijak, matang dan hebat dari hari ke hari. semoga naim menjadi seorang lelaki, kawan, anak, suami dan bapa yang baik pada masa akan datang. semoga naim panjang umur dan apa yang diusahakannye utk sekian lama akan dicapai juga akhirnye.

semoga naim kekal menjadi kawan saye.

171st

2009-12-27T18:07:00.007+08:00

"i had lunch in a box!"

i went to my fave shopping mall, the sunway pyramid which i prefer to call sunpy. took ana along. she is so obsessed with those glitery manik2 things that people stick on handphones as deco. those glitery things are not that cheap ok, can cost more than my lunch. huhu~

there was a so-called broadway show going on, part of christmas celebration i believe. singing and dancing. the costumes were pretty. the dancers have awesome long, slim legs. wish mine are like theirs. sigh.

i was so hungry. ana is fasting. i tried to skip lunch but my tummy rebelled. so i had my lunch-in-a-box at a korean-style restaurant.

i ate rice+spicy chicken+egg+sausage+kimchi+miso soup
i dun fancy the kimchi and soup though. but the chicken was hot n very tasty.
all those only cost rm10.90 + 5% service tax (of course!)

ana tapau for bukak puasa. i like the packaging :)

i came across a store with this tag-line. very interesting i tell u..for ladies only. hahaha :P

so true!!!!

see those teddy bears..very cuddly. i really2 like to have one. they are nearly as big as me!!! maybe bigger. but i am definitely taller than them. huhu. the most right one costs rm599!!!!! i choked when i saw the price. fuhh. does anyone actually buy them??

owh people..i need good luck to be on my side tonight. please help pray for me k..thanx!!! :)

170th

2009-12-26T13:11:00.006+08:00

majlis penikahan Pn Ieja dgn En Firdaus.

kitorg terlambat sampai kat masjid tu..mase sampai tu, baru je selesai akad nikah. sedikit kecewa r. huuu~~

suami ieja, dgr ceritanye berumur 24/25 tahun. RA kat ukm bangi dan juga merupakan seorang ustaz.

mimi cakap muka die cam muka ebi AF5 tu

paling kelakar mase nak kiss kat dahi tuh. merah padam muka ieja. sampai berair mata. hubby die pon jadi malu2. ditambah lagi dgn suara2 pakcik2 yang ligat mengusik pasangan pengantin baru. hahahaha~

ieja dan suami, semoga gembira dan berbahagia hingga ke cucu cicit :)

ps: saye sangat suke di-kiss di dahi =]

169th

2009-12-25T23:17:00.003+08:00

bangun pagi tadi dgn perut berkeroncong. lalu pergi breakfast pd pukul 9.15 pagi.

makan kat sini lagi mahal dari makan kat village park. saye lagi suke sambal dekat village park, lg best.

saye makan nasi lemak + ayam masak merah + milo ais
hajar makan nasi lemak + sambal udang + paru goreng + teh tarik
total = rm 25++

ini hajar yang gigih mencabut kulit udangnye. huhu~

breakfast kat village park murah sket berbanding sini. kesimpulannye saye lagi suke nasi lemak di village park. tapi sangatlah jauh mahu pergi ke sane. huuu~~

after breakfast, pergi jusco cheras selatan tgk movie. popcorn TGV best!

sherlock holmes sgt best!!! sila pergi tgk ye.. :)

168th

2009-12-22T13:41:00.004+08:00

LOCATION : PAEDS WARD 1, PPUKM

TIME : 12 NOON

SPOTTED: a SANTA CLAUS wandering around the ward

the santa claus and his elves brought a lot of goodies to give away to nice children in the ward

someone even received a bicycle!!!

HO! HO! HO!

167th

2009-12-21T17:49:00.003+08:00

mommy bought this for me. yeay!!!!

thank you mommy!!! :)

166th

2009-12-19T09:10:00.002+08:00

through my window. bunkface.

Don't want much, I just want everything
Thought that I could, do almost anything
One step in front of the other
Thought that I could do it alone

In the blink of an eye, it's just another day
Telling me why, I'll find another way
Got this feeling, got me reeling
I can almost start believing

Now there's me and you
And we are not alone
You and me, me are together now
Through my window, I can see there's
More than you and more than me

Me and you, And we are not alone
Different view, We are together now
Through my window, I can see
Our wildest dreams could be so real

I see a spark, it starts a fire
Is this the one worth waiting for?
Thought that I could do it without you
Can't exist like this anymore

Now there's me and you
And we are not alone
You and me
We are together now

Through my window, I can see there's
More than you and more than me

Now there's me and you, you and me
We are not alone and we are together
Through my window I can see
Our wildest dreams could be so real

165th

2009-11-30T23:48:00.004+08:00

cikins cikin: nway.. td ak membce blog ko..
cikins cikin: asal atok ko meninggal?? d usia muda.

jiggy_wiggy_240: die sakit ape tah
jiggy_wiggy_240: aku x ingt
jiggy_wiggy_240: comel kn wo aku
jiggy_wiggy_240: die kn, kalo pakai bj ke kain batik ke, tudung ke serkup ke
jiggy_wiggy_240: mesti nk matching kaler

cikins cikin: huuhuh.. comel2..
cikins cikin: bguz la cm2..
cikins cikin: cian kn dia..

jiggy_wiggy_240: tu r
jiggy_wiggy_240: sian

cikins cikin: haiah.. mintak la jauh married life ak dr jd cm2..

jiggy_wiggy_240: sgt tabah die tu tau
jiggy_wiggy_240: she is totally awesome
jiggy_wiggy_240: kitorg sume panggil die queen elizabeth
jiggy_wiggy_240: heheh
jiggy_wiggy_240: kalo die ckp pape, xde org berani bantah
jiggy_wiggy_240: sume ngikot je r

cikins cikin: huhuu
cikins cikin: yup.. i salute to this kind of ppl..
cikins cikin: x many can b like them..
cikins cikin: kte nie.. yg frust bercinta da sedey cm nk rak.. mcm2 excuse kte bg as long as we can b in denial state..
cikins cikin: nie lg2 la org yg da kawen..

jiggy_wiggy_240: tu r pasal
jiggy_wiggy_240: atok aku tu r
jiggy_wiggy_240: sape suro cakap camtuh
jiggy_wiggy_240: dah wo x sanggup nk kawen
jiggy_wiggy_240: mmg touching abes r ms dgr citer tuh

cikins cikin: kalo ak pn.. ak nk ckp cm2 kt husband ak
cikins cikin: huhuhu. cuz i want to b wif him 4 eternity..

jiggy_wiggy_240: ko ingt husband ko nk kisah
jiggy_wiggy_240: i dun think guys can stand it without women once they got married

cikins cikin: hey.. mest la.. i'll make him luv me as much as ur wo loved her husband..
cikins cikin: ada je.. ak pna jumpe..

jiggy_wiggy_240: they remarry not bcoz they dun love their dead wife, but bcoz they r so used to having someone taking care of them n doing everything for them
jiggy_wiggy_240: ni aku dah berdiskus ngan kazen aku dh ni n we came to that conclusion
jiggy_wiggy_240: huhu

cikins cikin: then start to learn to take care of themselve la..
cikins cikin: huhuhu

jiggy_wiggy_240: they cant
jiggy_wiggy_240: bcoz they r half idiot
jiggy_wiggy_240: hehehehe
jiggy_wiggy_240: aku rs tu mmg their nature r
jiggy_wiggy_240: perlu dijaga
jiggy_wiggy_240: pompuan gak yg bagos, setia, independent

cikins cikin: bias glo ko...
cikins cikin: ish2..
cikins cikin: sbar2 insyaALLAH we wil b wif d non idiot ones..

jiggy_wiggy_240: hopefully r
jiggy_wiggy_240: hahahahhaa
jiggy_wiggy_240: eh
jiggy_wiggy_240: kalo hubby kite remarry bile kite pass away dulu,
jiggy_wiggy_240: nnt kt syurga sape jd hubby kite>
jiggy_wiggy_240: ?

cikins cikin: ntah..
cikins cikin: mayb angel..

jiggy_wiggy_240: hehehehhe

cikins cikin: yg sgt hemsem.. sgt wangie.. sgt sweet..

jiggy_wiggy_240: huuuu
jiggy_wiggy_240: wat mase skang aku still rs aku prefer hubby aku r
jiggy_wiggy_240: (ckp cam dah kawen)
jiggy_wiggy_240: hahahhaha

cikins cikin: huhuhu
cikins cikin: xpe2..
cikins cikin: berangan2...

164th

2009-11-29T11:18:00.004+08:00

my nenek a.k.a wo is so cute!!!

wo had been a single mom since mommy was little. wo actually took care and raised her 13 children all by her own. she deserves an award for the most amazing mother ever lived on mother earth.

when atok passed away, wo was still young. she was 20++. she was gorgeous. young and beautiful. words have it that a few guys actually proposed her. but she declined. reason being was for what atok said before he passed away..

"nanti kalau nak kawen semula bila saye dah xde, awak kawenlah. tp nnt kite x boleh jumpe semulalah di syurga. sbb suami awak nnt tu yang akan jadi suami awak di syurga.."

because of those words, because she wants to meet atok again in heaven, she pulled through everything on her own.

that was wo's love story. how loyal and divine her love to atok was, and still.

163rd

2009-11-27T10:13:00.003+08:00

selamat hari raya aidil adha :)

smalam balik rumah, around 5 baru bertolak. daddy came n fetched me. thanx ayah amek ani n ana~~

dalam kereta tu, start sakit n pening kepala, nausea. a few times stop sebab nak muntah. terrible :(

sampai rumah, telan PCM, terus tido. then mak kejut suro g mandi. pas mandi baru de rase nak makan sket. makan then tido lagi. hari yang x bes. saye x suke sakit.

pasi tadi punye r liat nak bangun g smayang raye. mulenye saye n ana pakai tshirt n pants je, kene bebel ngan mak. mak kata "semua orang pergi smayang raya pakai baju kurung cantik2. anak2 mak je pegi pakai tshirt ngan seluar buruk" hahahahahha~ memang. every time g smayang raye, kitorg insist nk pakai seluar n tshirt je. malas nak layan org lain kate ape bile tgk kitorg. selesa pe smayang pakai tshirt n seluar..kan? tp td last2 kitorg pakai gak r baju kurung yg cantik n sopan. i siap pakai kebaya lagi ok g smayang raye. vogue gitu :P

berkeroncong perut mase dgr khutbah pas smayang sunat raye aidiladha 2 rakaat tu.

balik rumah terus melantak lemang, ketupat, kuah kacang n rendang ayam. sume mak buat sendri sorg2 smalam. saye sampai rumah malam. sakit lak tu. x dpt tolong mak. sian mak. mak memang hebat n tabah orangnye. saye sayang mak saye :)

peristiwa kelakar terjadi. sedang makan tu, de budak bg salam kat tingkap belakang dekat dgn meja makan tu.

"assalamualaikum. makcik...nak raya" (boleh r pulak nak panggi saye makcik kan. huh!)

kitorg adik beradik sume berpandangan sesama sendiri. pekejadahnye budak ni nak beraya ikot tingkap. tingkap tu tutup lak tu. pintu dpn tu terbuka besar.

"waalaikumussalam. adik nak ape?"

"nak raya"

"kenapalah ikot tingkap tu..ikot r pintu depan"

budak tu terus hilang berlari ke pintu depan.

haih budak2 zaman sekarang ni. agaknye diorg dgr kitorg bising2 kat meja tuh, tu diorg main redah je bg salam ikot tingkap tu. janji dapat duit raye. bijak gak budak2 skang. kreatif.

ade ke org mintak2 maaf mase raya haji eh? x kira r. saye mintak maaf pada semua atas segala ketelanjuran kata n perbuatan.

colleagues..have a good 4 days break~~ pro exam 15 minggu lagi!!!

162nd

2009-11-23T12:46:00.004+08:00

Retail therapy is shopping with the primary purpose of improving the buyer's mood or disposition. Often seen in people during periods of depression or transition, it is normally a short-lived habit. Items purchased during periods of retail therapy are sometimes referred to as "comfort buys".

i read an article in CLEO that says retail therapy is like orgasm during sex.

no wonder every time i don't feel good, i seek comfort in shopping, spending money on stuff that i totally don't need. the more i spend, the more satisfy i get. there's also the 'thrill' of shopping that distract me from thinking the never-ending adulthood crisis.

because i literally never have sex, of course i cannot compare the exhilaration during shopping with orgasm during sex. but i bet, the one from sex last longer. retail therapy's effect on me usually wear off as the midnight approaches. so i end up envelop by the thoughts of my so-called-adulthood-crisis before i doze off. and i have nightmares to complete the torture. how awful.

sometimes i buy things for people because (1) there's nothing that i want anymore, (2) my closet and every inch of my room is packed with clothes, shoes, bags, make-ups, perfumes, books and everything else, you just name it, (3) i like to buy things for people and get the appreciative smile and a thank u message. that makes me happy :)

in conclusion, retail therapy is not the best way to deal with problems. we can end up broke, and that will make our problem list longer. retail therapy is certainly a waste of money and time (but i still do it anyway. haha)

161st

2009-11-22T12:49:00.004+08:00

it's a silent sunday

i hate silence.

it's cold.

i like cold.

i can't stop listening to 'two is better than one' by boys like girls featuring taylor switft (http://miluvia.blogspot.com/2009/11/blue-shirt-black-pants-and-grey.html)

i have to read paediatrics cardiac problem. i have to present in a seminar with prof bilkis.

i have to do notes for my study group mates on congenital diseases of the GI and HPB system. boring.

it's time for another facial tx. but i dun feel like spending rm200 for one-time facial thingy. i'd rather go for a holiday.

i want to go karaokeing.

i watched THE BOX on friday. it sucked. don't go watch.

i start my PRHO duty this week. hopefully there'll be lots of cases and i'll be so damn busy until wednesday.

i'm going home on thursday for Raya Haji.

is there such thing as selective amnesia?

i have to go to the ward in 45 minutes.

lets pray for wonderful days to come :)

160th

2009-11-20T07:43:00.002+08:00

Lyrics | Kelly Clarkson Lyrics | Already Gone Lyrics

159th

2009-11-19T23:53:00.006+08:00

"i never meant to start a war. u know i never wanna hurt u"

lagu nih de dalam kepala saye dr td. xnak hilang2.

dan ngantok. tapi sedang tunggu fon berbunyi.

hidup ini memang tidak mudah.

"why does love always feel like a battlefield, battlefield, battlefield"
(ini ialah sebahagian daripada lagu di atas itu)

Lyrics | Jordin Sparks Lyrics | Battlefield Lyrics

158th

2009-11-18T12:40:00.003+08:00

hari yang tenang. x panas. x hujan. best utk tido.

jadual hari ini:

6.38 am : bgn pagi, g shishi, solat subuh

6.55 am : sambung tido

7.55 am : bgn semula. angkat n lipat baju

8.10 am : g beli breakfast utk diri sendiri n meklin. makan2 borak2.

8.50 am : betulkan katil yang patah, tapi x berjaya :(

9.20 am : mandi, bersiap2

10.00 am : pergi ward, clerk pt sorg

11.30 am : tido d bilik tutorial

12.00 noon : balik bilik semula

dalam perjalanan pulang ke bilik tadi, saye berjalan di belakang prof maniam. prof nak g lunch kat cafe makyong kat kolej nih. prof dalam jarak 2,3 meter di depan saye.

tgh naik tangga kat belakang blok B tuh, ternampak en ***** dr arah bertentangan. so saye pun menegur seperti biase..

"hai en *****"

"hai darling.."

terus prof maniam berpusing 180 darjah untuk melihat saye. muka penuh tanda tanye.

kelakar pulak rasenye. tah apelah prof fikir agaknye tuh. agaknye die ingat saye ni bini encik tuh kot.. hehehehehhe :P

157th

2009-11-15T12:57:00.002+08:00

post-mock exam. fuhh. lega~~

seharian hariku kucar kacir semalam. makan x kenyang, tido x lena. ni baru mock exam. lom profesional exam betul2 lagi. mmg kaw2 r stress n cuaknye. top class beb. cam nak akad nikah je rase nervousnye tuh.

tadi exam dgn prof shahrir n dr johar. prof shahrir tu bagos betul..soalan2 die sume die bg hint2 jawapan. die dig2 sampai terkeluarlah perkataan yg spatutnye dr mulutku ini. thanx prof!!

pengajaran dr mock exam:

1. jangan asyik gune short form eg CBD, ACE inhibitor, ARB,ect. tengah2 exam tu, blank xleh nk fikir ape exact wordsnye. lawak gile tadi..sibuk nk fikir CBD tu ape, dok cakap continuous..continuous.. last2 prof yg sambungkan-bladder drainage. saye hanye mampu tersenyum kambing di situ..huuuu~~

2. kene bertenang n percaya dgn diri sendri. kalau x, x berani nk bukak mulut n jawab. rupenye jawapan kite tu betul. rugi je xnak jawab. kalo salah, nnt examiner yg baik akan lead towards jawapan yg dikehendaki

3. the last 15 minutes tu, guna sebaiknye utk organize thoughts. tulis siap2 segala differential diagnoses, ix n mx plan. sbbnye mase sedang didrill, otak ni x mampu nak fikir lebih2. sume spinal cord reflex. seriously..mmg spinal cord reflex. rase nak termuntah, sakit perut sume ade. kaki tgn dan xleh dok diam. horror.

4. kene clerk laju2. kalo pt punye hx pjg, nnt x smpt nk examine betul2 dgn tenang. mase examine pon boleh tanye2 soalan2 lg. mane yg x terbuat tu, mase present ckp-i would like to complete my examination by doing.....tunjuk r yg kite mmg berniat nk wat, walaupun sebenarnye terlupa. hehe~

haaaa..hilang sudah SOB ku. boleh bernafas dgn tenang..

156th

2009-11-08T11:14:00.003+08:00

i didnt want to get out of bed today. i wish i can sleep forever.

but mommy n daddy are coming. i have to go meet them.

for those who really know me (there's only a few), they know how i dont like to plan things. because i cannot bear the disappointment when things are canceled at the last minute. i dont ask people out also, because i will be upset when it's a NO answer.

but sometimes i forget. i made plans and hope they happened. and of course they didnt. i am a muslim. i dont believe in reincarnation. but if it does exist, i must have been a very bad person in my previous life that this time around, i am paying for it.

i have ceased to believe that i am entitled to happiness. so i have kinda made up my mind to be a very busy surgeon so that i dont have time to feel lonely and unhappy. i have also ceased to believe that i deserve to be loved. so i am training myself not to feel anything to anybody anymore. i'll adopt 1 or 2 kids and love them. and pray hard that at least they will love me a tiny weeny bit.

i wish i can just disappear.

155th

2009-10-25T02:39:00.003+08:00

midnight trip to hospital temerloh

i just came back from a&e hospital temerloh. ati was sick. she got a very bad asthma attack today. she already went there in the afternoon for neb and monitoring. then she was discharged. later around 8 pm, she got another attack. the she became drowsy and lethargic. mommy was very worried. aunty ciah adviced us to bring ati to the hospital. and so we did, at midnight.

i was already asleep. mommy woke me up and made me tagged along so that i could speak to the doctors. the doctor who attended to us at first was alright. i think he was a housman coz he looked very young. after about 2 hours of monitoring, fbc and ufeme, normal saline drip, ati was ready to be discharged. so the nurse called for her waris. that time mommy and i were at the waiting area. mommy went in alone at first since i refused to meet the doctor. then she came out and insisted that i spoke to the doctor. there were 2 different doctors; a malay guy and an indian woman.

the lady doctor was nice, spoke politely. but the male doctor was rude!!! they knew i am a medical student. so what if i am..? can't i be worried about my sister..? i didn't get it..why doctors always treat relatives or patients whom are medical students differently than they treat other patients?!! can't we, for once don't need to think and act like medical students?! it is soooooooooo not fair.

dear doctor (how i wish you read this)..respects are earned. you don't get it just because u graduated and became a doctor. shame on you.

hope ati will get well soon~

154th

2009-09-26T20:22:00.001+08:00

26 sept 2009
jasin, melaka

saye nak kahwin juga!!!!!!

153rd

2009-09-25T17:18:00.002+08:00

152nd

2009-09-20T09:51:00.002+08:00

20 sept 09.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!!!!

saye minta maaf kepada semua atas segala salah n silap.

semoga kite semua dipanjangkan usia untuk bertemu Ramadhan akan datang supaya dapatlah kite beramal lebih banyak lagi berbanding Ramadhan yang telah kite tinggalkan tahun ini.

have a wonderful raya people!!! :)

151st

2009-09-18T18:47:00.002+08:00

18 sept. 2 days before hari raya.

the cupcakes i ordered from cik azura naem have arrived!!!!

nice rite :)

saye masih lagi di kolej. semua org dah balik rumah. saye balik rumah pagi sok. saye x balik hari ni sbb saye ade klas sampai pukul 1 lebih td. saye x suke kene drive petang2, hujan2 n stuck dalam jam yg teruk. petang ialah waktu mengantuk n bosan saye. jd saye balik esok. leh drive pagi2. rasa segar n selesa. huhu~

selamat hari raya rakan2 sekalian~~

saye mohon maaf atas semua salah dan silap, sama ada yang saye perasan atau pun tidak.

sekiranye anda marah saye atau x suke dgn sesetengah perkara yang saye buat, silalah beritahu supaya saye tahu di mana silap saye dan saye dapat betulkan. jgn diam saje ye. saye mmg x mampu membace fikiran org.

halalkan segala makan n minum. kalo saye ade hutang, silalah minta sbb saye selalu terlupa.

lastly, thanx for the small, little or huge attention that you have given me. they are much appreciated :)

have a wonderful hari raya people :)

:: ramadhan tahun ni cam x berapa produktif. rase sedikit sedih. semoga panjang umur saye utk bertemu ramadhan tahun depan dan semoga ramadhan tahun depan lebih produktif lagi. insya-Allah ::

150th

2009-09-13T13:17:00.006+08:00

13 sept. it's another sunday in the year 2009.

this is the last sunday in this fasting month. next week, i'll be home insyaAllah, celebrating hari raya aidilfitri. yeay!!!!

and the next sunday after that, i am off to teluk intan for 3 weeks. at first i didn't like having to go there during the raya month. i might have to miss the konvoi raya that has been a tradition in my batch for the the past 4 years, plus this will be the last raya we will be able to do so. next year, we will already be housmen!! but when i gave it a long thought, i ought to be thankful. i don't want to be here in kl, having to live through another torturous period of time again. so i guess it's good that i'll be in teluk intan. things happen for a reason, do they.

the other day i told 1 person about my going to teluk intan for 3 weeks and that i didn't like it. all i get was an 'owh'. frustrating isn't it when i was hoping for a more lengthy reply than an 'owh'. see fana..u're not the only want upset with the reply u got. huhu~

since i might miss konvoi raya this year, i'm putting up a few shots from previous years' konvoi raya

saye suke hari raye. smoga raye tahun ni menjadi raye yang sangat gembire :) last year ade inciden buruk sewaktu pergi beraye. harap2 tahun ni semua mengembirekan n menyeronokkan saje. amin~

selamat hari raya semua~~~ :)

149th

2009-09-09T10:37:00.002+08:00

it's 09 09 09. such a beautiful date isn't it. hope i have a beautiful day :)

Enrique:
Go ahead just leave, can’t hold you, you’re free
You take all these things, if they mean so much to you
I gave you your dreams, ’cause you meant the world
So did I deserve to be left here hurt
You think I don’t know you’re out of control
I ended up finding all of this from my boys
Girl, you’re stone cold, you say it ain’t so,
You already know I’m not attached to material

I’d give it all up but I’m takin’ back my love
I’m takin’ back my love, I’m takin’ back my love
I’ve given you too much but I’m takin’ back my love
I’m takin’ back my love, my love, my love, my love
My love..

Ciara:
Yeah
What did I do but give love to you
I’m just confused as I stand here and look at you
From head to feet, all that’s not me
Go ‘head, keep the keys, that’s not what I need from you
You think that you know (I do), you’ve made yourself cold (Oh yeah)
How could you believe them over me, I’m your girl
You’re out of control (So what?), how could you let go (Oh yeah)
Don’t you know I’m not attached to material

Both:
I’d give it all up but I’m takin’ back my love
I’m takin’ back my love, I’m takin’ back my love
I’ve given you too much but I’m takin’ back my love
I’m takin’ back my love, my love, my love, my love

I’d give it all up but I’m takin’ back my love
I’m takin’ back my love, I’m takin’ back my love
I’ve given you too much but I’m takin’ back my love
I’m takin’ back my love, my love, my love, my love

Enrique:
So all this love I give you, take it away, (Unh, uh huh)
Ciara:
You think material’s the reason I came, (Unh, uh huh)
Enrique:
If I had nothing would you want me to stay (Unh, uh huh)
Ciara:
You keep your money, take it all away

I’d give it all up but I’m takin’ back my love
I’m takin’ back my love, I’m takin’ back my love
I’ve given you too much but I’m takin’ back my love
I’m takin’ back my love, my love, my love

I’d give it all up but I’m takin’ back my love
I’m takin’ back my love, I’m takin’ back my love
I’ve given you too much but I’m takin’ back my love
I’m takin’ back my love, my love, my love

I’d give it all up but I’m takin’ back my love
I’m takin’ back my love, I’m takin’ back my love
I’ve given you too much but I’m takin’ back my love
I’m takin’ back my love, my love, my love, my love

Ooh, my love
Ooh, my love

148th

2009-09-07T19:49:00.007+08:00

the stress of being in final year, with the pro exam cropping up has finally hit me HARD. **** (hish..xleh mcarut2 di bulan mulia ini)

plus, i have the stupid, unwanted, unplanned-but-i-know-coming hell of a problem bugging me day and night. it even entered my dream today when i took my very2-long- afternoon-till-evening nap. geram tau x. dah r my living moments i am constantly bugged by this, tidur pun nak kacau ke. marah btol. and i dunno who i am supposed to be angry to..myself perhaps. stupid, silly me. dah 23 pun x reti2 lg ke. lempang kang baru tau. cett~~

i received another 2 birthday presents yesterday :) from lala and hadi. thanx korg!! i hv been wanting a shawl to use when watching movies, but i refused to buy one on my own. so glad i finally got it as a pressie. and that heart-shape red pillow, with those words on it, made me happy. at least i know 1 person thinks that i am wonderful. made me feel good. huhu~ :)

yesterday we had a lil celebration. with a cake and candles. it's a blueberry cheese cake from secret recipe.

to syazni and didotte (korg x tau pun kewujudan blog aku ni, tp xpe r..aku tulis gak) - H.A.P.P.Y B.I.R.T.H.D.A.Y!!!! hopefully ur birthday is as great, as happy as mine :)

update : i received another birthday present. it was from wafy and rafi, picked by lia. thanx!!! it's green!!! love it~~ :)

147th

2009-09-06T02:26:00.011+08:00

i turned 23 yesterday

happy birthday hazwani rani :)

there were countless people who celebrated my birthday in one way or another. THANK YOU people so so so much for making me smile and laugh all day long. you people rock!!!

those facebook messages, smses, verbal wishes..i appreciate every single one

my birtday celebration started with a foot massage, a treat from anjang. thanx anjang!!

then satay hj samuri in kajang with acap and azhar. acap belanja. so extra best because i didn't pay for it. hahaha :P

then on 11.55 pm as showed by my watch, i got the first birthday sms. someone who intentionally wished a lil bit early so he became the first one. huhu. that was nice of u to do that :)

the whole day i kept getting smses and facebook messages. i think i thanked every single person whom wished me a happy birthday. thanx tau korg~~ :) if anyone's that i didn't reply, here i THANK YOU for the warm wish on my birthday :)

sahur time was farhana's treat at old town. at first, i went there with fana, ckin n mimi. then out of nowhere, came the rest of the girls; iffah, lin, hajar, ida, farah and irma. girls..thanx bangun pepagi buta bersahur utk celebrate birthday saye :)

i got a birthday present from hajar. a green frog king~~

i went shopping raya in shah alam. but didn't buy anything much. then lepak2 at my aunt's in seksyen 11. then when breaking fast at my aunt's in cheras. oh dear..today was the first time i payed nearly rm7 of toll to get from shah alam to bandar tun hussin onn. fuhh~~ to avoid the jam punye pasal r nih.

at aunty ijan's in BTHO, breaking fast was like a kenduri. seriously. here..see all these lauk for yourself. huhu~

besides all these, there were also soto and spaghetti, bubur pulut hitam and lychee as dessert. i stuffed my tummy well. hahaha~

irma treated me to watching final destination.

when i came back, there was a secret recipe cake, a full size one and a silver box with a pink ribbon on it. inside was a pink teddy bear..very soft and cuddly. the cake and pinky bear were given by dila. thanx!!!! the cake was to be shared with ida because our birthday was only 2 days apart. hers was on the 3rd and mine was on the 5th.

i had a GREAT birthday this year. no surprise party, no self-organized celebration but still, it was a very happy, wonderful day :)

thank you Allah~

146th

2009-09-04T00:34:00.003+08:00

i texted something. it wasn't finish yet but i accidentally hit the 'call' button. so the msg was sent to you. i meant to put "hehehe" and a smiley after the sentence.

you misunderstood. and you got angry.

i was typing another msg to correct the one i accidentally sent but you already replied. and you were damn furious.

and so i tried to call to explain but you won't pick up my call. you rejected the call. then you turn off your phone.

i am so sorry i made u angry. i am sorry you misunderstood.

T_T

145th

2009-09-01T06:52:00.002+08:00

my anklet snapped and broke last saturday

that is my birthday present. and it only lasted a day

:(

it now has changed into a bracelet, a bracelet with a bell (sigh)

i want a new one