156th

i didnt want to get out of bed today. i wish i can sleep forever.

but mommy n daddy are coming. i have to go meet them.

for those who really know me (there's only a few), they know how i dont like to plan things. because i cannot bear the disappointment when things are canceled at the last minute. i dont ask people out also, because i will be upset when it's a NO answer.

but sometimes i forget. i made plans and hope they happened. and of course they didnt. i am a muslim. i dont believe in reincarnation. but if it does exist, i must have been a very bad person in my previous life that this time around, i am paying for it.

i have ceased to believe that i am entitled to happiness. so i have kinda made up my mind to be a very busy surgeon so that i dont have time to feel lonely and unhappy. i have also ceased to believe that i deserve to be loved. so i am training myself not to feel anything to anybody anymore. i'll adopt 1 or 2 kids and love them. and pray hard that at least they will love me a tiny weeny bit.

i wish i can just disappear.

155th

midnight trip to hospital temerloh

i just came back from a&e hospital temerloh. ati was sick. she got a very bad asthma attack today. she already went there in the afternoon for neb and monitoring. then she was discharged. later around 8 pm, she got another attack. the she became drowsy and lethargic. mommy was very worried. aunty ciah adviced us to bring ati to the hospital. and so we did, at midnight.

i was already asleep. mommy woke me up and made me tagged along so that i could speak to the doctors. the doctor who attended to us at first was alright. i think he was a housman coz he looked very young. after about 2 hours of monitoring, fbc and ufeme, normal saline drip, ati was ready to be discharged. so the nurse called for her waris. that time mommy and i were at the waiting area. mommy went in alone at first since i refused to meet the doctor. then she came out and insisted that i spoke to the doctor. there were 2 different doctors; a malay guy and an indian woman.

the lady doctor was nice, spoke politely. but the male doctor was rude!!! they knew i am a medical student. so what if i am..? can't i be worried about my sister..? i didn't get it..why doctors always treat relatives or patients whom are medical students differently than they treat other patients?!! can't we, for once don't need to think and act like medical students?! it is soooooooooo not fair.

dear doctor (how i wish you read this)..respects are earned. you don't get it just because u graduated and became a doctor. shame on you.

hope ati will get well soon~

154th

26 sept 2009
jasin, melaka





saye nak kahwin juga!!!!!!

153rd

152nd

20 sept 09.



SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!!!!

saye minta maaf kepada semua atas segala salah n silap.

semoga kite semua dipanjangkan usia untuk bertemu Ramadhan akan datang supaya dapatlah kite beramal lebih banyak lagi berbanding Ramadhan yang telah kite tinggalkan tahun ini.

have a wonderful raya people!!! :)

151st

18 sept. 2 days before hari raya.

the cupcakes i ordered from cik azura naem have arrived!!!!



nice rite :)

saye masih lagi di kolej. semua org dah balik rumah. saye balik rumah pagi sok. saye x balik hari ni sbb saye ade klas sampai pukul 1 lebih td. saye x suke kene drive petang2, hujan2 n stuck dalam jam yg teruk. petang ialah waktu mengantuk n bosan saye. jd saye balik esok. leh drive pagi2. rasa segar n selesa. huhu~

selamat hari raya rakan2 sekalian~~

saye mohon maaf atas semua salah dan silap, sama ada yang saye perasan atau pun tidak.

sekiranye anda marah saye atau x suke dgn sesetengah perkara yang saye buat, silalah beritahu supaya saye tahu di mana silap saye dan saye dapat betulkan. jgn diam saje ye. saye mmg x mampu membace fikiran org.

halalkan segala makan n minum. kalo saye ade hutang, silalah minta sbb saye selalu terlupa.

lastly, thanx for the small, little or huge attention that you have given me. they are much appreciated :)

have a wonderful hari raya people :)

:: ramadhan tahun ni cam x berapa produktif. rase sedikit sedih. semoga panjang umur saye utk bertemu ramadhan tahun depan dan semoga ramadhan tahun depan lebih produktif lagi. insya-Allah ::

150th

13 sept. it's another sunday in the year 2009.

this is the last sunday in this fasting month. next week, i'll be home insyaAllah, celebrating hari raya aidilfitri. yeay!!!!

and the next sunday after that, i am off to teluk intan for 3 weeks. at first i didn't like having to go there during the raya month. i might have to miss the konvoi raya that has been a tradition in my batch for the the past 4 years, plus this will be the last raya we will be able to do so. next year, we will already be housmen!! but when i gave it a long thought, i ought to be thankful. i don't want to be here in kl, having to live through another torturous period of time again. so i guess it's good that i'll be in teluk intan. things happen for a reason, do they.

the other day i told 1 person about my going to teluk intan for 3 weeks and that i didn't like it. all i get was an 'owh'. frustrating isn't it when i was hoping for a more lengthy reply than an 'owh'. see fana..u're not the only want upset with the reply u got. huhu~

since i might miss konvoi raya this year, i'm putting up a few shots from previous years' konvoi raya








saye suke hari raye. smoga raye tahun ni menjadi raye yang sangat gembire :) last year ade inciden buruk sewaktu pergi beraye. harap2 tahun ni semua mengembirekan n menyeronokkan saje. amin~

selamat hari raya semua~~~ :)